Toki Wo Tomete

RING! RING!

“Ok class. I think that’s all for today. Remember to do your work and happy holiday.” With her usual smile, Mrs. Kim walked out of our class, leaving bunch of kids with a big smile on their face.

“It’s holiday!” Shindong screams in his loud voice. Being a class monitor never seems to change his crazy attitude. With that, half of us breakout from the class, running to get home.

“Minji-ah, where are you going after this?” I went to the back of the class, there, sitting a girl with her cute ponytail, gathering her things to take home. Lee Minji, the one and only girl that managed to steal my heart away. We’ve been friends for almost 14 years already. Attended the same kindergarten, elementary school, middle school and now, both of us are even in the same class in high school. Looks like the luck is always on my side. Since we’re in middle school, I’ve completely fall in love with her. At the end of the year, I chose to confess my love to her. Yes, I were afraid that she might reject my love and that it may effect our precious friendship. But you can’t keep your love in your heart forever. There’s times where you just can’t deny or ignore it. That’s what I’ve been through after years hiding my love. I got to say, I never thought that she will accept me more than a friend and officially, we’ve become couple on that day till today.

“Yah Jaejoong! Don’t talk to me if you choose to ignore me!” She smack my head and headed out.

'Ouch! My head...'While rubbing my head, I watch her walking while smiling dubiously. Sometime I really don't get her. She can switch to cute, tomboyish, feminine, angry, happy, sad and even jealous in just a few seconds. That’s what make her special.

I ran to catch her in the hallway. “Minji! Wait for me will ya?” She stopped walking and turned around to look for me. She hugged herself, waiting for me. I breathed heavily while my eyes looking at her for some sympathy but she just turned around and sticked her tongue out.

“Hey, why are you so moody? Did I do something?” I leaned against a locker next to hers, watching her hands smoothly arranged her books in it. Her silent always killed me inside. I grab her hand and pull her hand as we run out of school.
“Jae, where are we going?” I looked at her and smile.

“Just follow me. I know you will love this.” We’re running and laughing happily. A stone throw from our school, there’s a field, full with blooming sunflowers, hidden by an old mansion. Minji, gasping with amusement, walk through the field until she’s in the middle of it.

“You like it?” She just nodded her head, still can't get a single word out. Minji loves gardening and flowers so much. Every morning, I will always prepared her favourite flower, white lilac.

“Jae, I want you to promise me something. Can you?” she broke the silent when we’re lying together on the field.

“What is it baby? I can’t promise something like... taking you to Niagara Waterfalls now. Hahahaha.. maybe I’ll take you when I’ve become a successful singer. And then, maybe I’ll ask you to be the queen of my life. Life is wonderful.” The blue sky moves calmly, make me feels relax, release me from stress about school and home.

“You and your daydreaming. It just never end right? You know Jae, I love you so much. Even before you confessed to me. If... if, anything ever happen to me, to us, you need to promise  me that you will not waste your life and find someone else to replace me." I stares her with a questioning look. Before I could speak a word, Minji put her finger on my lips.

"No, listen to me first. I know, first love is not something that we can replace or forget that easily. I'm not asking you to forget me. If you ever do that, I'll choke you to death! But I don't want just because of me you miss out all the fun in this world. We live as a teenager just once.” My heart won’t accept her words.

There’s no why I’ll be apart from her forever. She’s the reason I’m breathing in this cruel world, she’s the air that I breath, my heart, mind and soul. I keep silent and let out a heavy sigh hearing her request. Slowy, I pull her close to my chest and gently plant a kiss on her forehead.

“What are you talking about Minji? Are you leaving me?” I managed to control my shock and spoke in a gentle tone.

“No.. If I could, I want to lay by your side every second, minute and hour. I don’t want ever to be apart from you. There’s no one else in here except for one name that was crafted on my heart. I promise we will be together forever. Till death do us apart.” Placing her hand at her heart, she stare at me, until it reach deep into my heart. Her deep blue eyes seem to tear a bit.

I cared her hair. ‘I knew.’ silently, my heart answered her. “Let’s head home, Minji. It’s almost dark.” Hand in hand, we walk together, waiting for the future that was written for us.

A month later….

“Jae, let’s go to the rooftop.” Recently, Minji has been acting weird. Her requests, attitudes, makes me wondered. As we walk side by side, she seems so cheerful and happy. I haven’t seen her like this for a long time.

“Minji, did something happen? Why are you so happy?” I pulled her hand to stop her from continue walking. She looked at me with one eyebrow up.

“Nothing. I’m just happy to be with my love one. That’s all. You know, I really want to visit Niagara Falls with you. Maybe after that we can visit France.” She danced happily on the rooftop and finally sat at our favourite spot.

“Minji, how deep is your love for me?” while waiting for the sunset, I tried to figure deep into her heart although I’ve already knew about it.

“Jae,  you know about my favourite place right?” Of course I know, she told me every single detail she managed to remember. She continued while looking away at the sky, “Niagara Falls will be the mark of my love to you that never stops to flow..” She turned to me and with her gentle and warm smile, she took me into a brand new world where there’s only both of us. I held her hand tightly and kiss it. We held onto each other, watching the beautiful and peaceful sunset. How I wish I could stop the time.

A few days later..

“Leeteuk hyung, gomawo for the ride.” Leeteuk is the one and only hyung I have. Or should I say my one and sibling. My omma was pregnant when I was 5 years old and hyung was 8 years old at that time. Unfortunately, omma has miscarriage when the baby was 5 months old. I still remember her face when the doctor told her that she can't have any baby anymore. Omma become moody and trauma after that. Until now, she still can’t let go of the incident. Sometime she will have a nightmare. I was so afraid that all I can do is cry in my room hearing omma’s screaming.

“Jae, are you ok?” I was so into my thought until I didn’t realize we’re already sitting, facing the blue sea. The cold breeze accompany by the blue cottons like sky make the scene looks peaceful.

“Yeah I’m ok. So, what should we do now?” I hugged her and play with her hair. She loves everytime I do that.

“Let’s collect the seashell and maybe after this the candy van will be here.” After a few times coming here, Minji has already memorize the candy van arrival. She’s been addicted to candy since we came here last year. Everyday, at this time, the van will stop across the road. And, she will be running towards the van like a 6-year-old child, getting her candy.
“Ok, let’s go. Let’s start there.” Running through the seashore make us so happy. I feel like we have become a little kid once again.

“Oh look. It’s here.” Ignoring me, she ran quickly towards the road. Leaving me laughing seeing her so happy. however, she didn't notice a car coming fast from the other direction.

"Minjiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Look out!” my voice attracted her but it did not reach her completely as she turned and waved both of her hands. By the time she saw the car, it was all over. My eyes witnessed how the car bumped to her skinny body. “Nooo!!!” I screamed and ran towards her body.

I placed her head on my lap. The red liquid was all over the place but I didn't care less bout it as I held her tightly in my arms. “Someone, call the ambulance!” I heard a voice shouting for help. “Minji, look at me. LOOK AT ME!!! Please, stay with me. You can’t leave me. You promised me right. I know you're a tough girl. So you need to hold on.” Biting my upper lip, I tried to prevent myself from crying. She raised her hand and cares my cheek with her hand that's full of blood.

“Jae.... Remember.... Yo...yo....ur wo..word. I.. I’m.. so.. sorry. I..I..... lo.....ve.. you.” With that, her eyes was closed, leaving me shouting her name repeatly like crazy.

“Minji? MINJIIIIIII!! Please, please. Oh god...”

“Sir, I’m sorry we need to check on her.” Someone asked me to let her go but nothing seems matter to me anymore. My eyes look empty as I saw her body was lifted up by the man.

At the funeral..

“I’m sorry Jae.” All of our classmates said the same things to me but none of it managed to wake me up. It feels like there’s nothing happen. A voice brought me back to face the bitter reality.

“Jae, let her go. She’s not with us anymore. I understand your feeling.” There, standing 4 other boys, looking at me with sympathy. 'What are they talking about? Letting who go and who’s not with us anymore? Are they joking? Today is not even April fool .’ I thought to myself while staring at them weirdly.

“What are you guys talking about? I don’t understand.”

“Jae, Minji has gone. Did you realize that?” Yoochun came to my side and hugged me. My mind's getting more confuse.

“What are you talking abbout? She’s just with me a moment ago. We’re hanging out together at the beach. Ask Leeteuk hyung if you don’t trust me. Wait, where am I? Whose funeral is this? Where’s Minji? She never leave me alone. I need to find her.” I started to look around me, trying to find the face of my love but all I see is just a bunch of strangers.

“What does he's blabbering, Yunho hyung?” Changmin’s voice attract my attention. I feel so angry at them. Why aren’t any of them answer my question?

“Jae, don’t you remember? She was hit by a car and bleeding badly. She left this world even before the ambulance got there?” Yunho’s words make my mind hurt trying to find the memory. All images of the incident play back in my mind just like I'm watching it one more time.

“Minji? Minji!!!!” With that, my sight become blurry and I couldn't hear what they're saying. The last thing I saw was Yunho, Changmin and Junsu rushed towards me and I felt a hand caught me just in time before I fell down with tears running wildly. All the memories that we shared together roaming in my mind like it just happen yesterday. Her smile, her laugh, the tears of joy and sadness seems so real.

'Oh god, why did you test me this way!' silently I cry in Yoochun's arms.