It’s the first day at high school. My parents just went home after they finished registered me at the office. I make my way to my class and hoping to see some faces that I’ll reconigze. I arrange my steps perfectly so I can avoid anything bad happen. Suddenly..
“Ouch.” I cried loudly and fall to the ground.
“I’m sorry. I’m in a hurry. Mianhae.” The boy just run quickly without even try to help me stand up again after he bumped me. I couldn’t take a good look at his face.
“Are you alright?” on the spur of the moment, there’s a voice coming from my back. I sigh heavily and turn to face the voice. What I see is a boy, very tall boy, standing with a sweet smile behind me. I was stunned by his smile for a while.
“Oh, I’m.. I’m fine.” I become nervous and my heart beat fast when he offer his hand to help me. Without thinking any further, I accept his help and take his hand.
“I’m sorry about my friend. He’s in a hurry. Hope you don’t mind him.” Again, he gave me his sweet and heartbreaking smile.
‘OMO, I’m going to have a nosebleed here!!’ I placed my hand at my heart and feel my heart beats wildly. I hope he can’t hear it. I never felt this way before with other boys. What is this mean?
“Hey, are you all right? Your face look pale.” he looked at me worriedly. My face look pale? Hah, when does my face look pale? I hurriedly touch my face and place my hand on my forehead to feel my body temperature. Ok, I’m not sick.
“No, I’m just fine. Thanks for your help anyway. If you please excuse me. I need to go to my class.” I excused myself quickly before I make any embarrassing scene in front of him. I walked away without waiting for his answer.
In a few minutes, I found my class and enter it. The class almost full with students. As my eyes wandering around the class, a girl’s voice that I really recognize shout my name. I stare her with a wide open eyes and pinch my cheek. Ok, it’s hurt. So, it’s really Hajin.
“Anli, we’re on the same class again!!” she jumped to me happily and drag me into the class. She introduce me to the class.
“Hi all. This is my best friend. Her name is Anli. So, greet her properly okay. Or you’re going to regret it later.” Hajin, a very cheerful girl. She always jokes around and never serious about something except if she’s really mad or curious. So, she easily fit in any situation.
“Hi Anli.” All the students greet me with a smile. It makes me relief. I reply with a very simple smile and bow a little. I stare at my new classmates one by one. After I reach at a face, I stop for a while. He’s also staring at me with his sweet smile again!!
“Hi Anli. We meet again. By the way, this is my friend that bumped with you earlier, Kim Jaejoong. These 3 are also my friends. They’re want to accompany me although I’ve been telling them not to do so.” He glare at his friends. After that, they introduce themselves one by one to Hajin and me. From that moment, we’ve become best friends.
“I’m sorry Anli but I only think you as my best friends. Not more than that.” His words sent me back to where we were just now. The confession thing is Hajin’s idea. I’m very dubious about it at first but she kept force me.
“It’s fine. At least you come clean with me about it.” I smiled bitterly at him. I’m so ashame!! How can I face him after this? I look down, can’t face him anymore.
“I hope our friendship will not be affect by my decision. I still need you as my friend.” He try to persuade me. He walks to my side and lift my face. I try hard not to cry in front of him.
“I hope so too. I need to go now. Hajin’s waiting for me at the gate.” I grabbed my bag and make my way to the door without turning back to him. I can’t help but cry when I meet Hajin at the gate. My tears start running down my cheeks rapidly.
“Hajin, he rejected me. He only thinks me as a best friend.” Hajin pull me into her embrace to calm me. I sobbed in her embrace and she pat my back.
“Let’s go home first okay.” I just nodded at her and follow her home. That’s all I can think for now. To go home and be with Hajin. Only her can make me calm again.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Yunho” Jaejoong greet me and poked me. Behind him, there’s Changmin, Yoochun and also Junsu.
“Hi guys. Ready to go home?” I tried to sound cheerful to hide my true feeling.
“Yunho, what’s wrong with Anli? I saw her walked weakly out of here and she didn’t even heard I was calling for her. Like she’s not here just now.” Yoochun asked me without knowing what had happened before.
“I rejected her.” I sighed heavily and stared at them. My words make them wonder and more puzzle.
“Her?? As in who hyung?” Changmin asked me while sitting on a chair beside me. He look at me and his eyes were asking for my explaination.
“Anli. She just confessed at me just now. And I rejected her. It’s hurt!!” I feel like crying now. I don’t know why but whe it come to Anli, I always weak. Yoochun stared me in disbelief. His face turned to red and it’s very dangerous.
“Yah, why did you do that? I thought you also love her. And what’s with the rejection? Don’t you know how much she loves you? Are you out of your mind? Don’t tell me you did that just because that thing.” Yoochun fired me non stop. I could only listen to him and look down.
“Yoochun, stop it. I’m sure Yunho has a good reason for it. Let’s hear his full explaination first okay. Please control your temper.” Jaejoong calmed Yoochun down and turn to me.
“Why did you do that Yunho?” (Jae)
“I need to do that. If I accept her love, I will make her suffer even more. I haven’t told you guys before but I’m leaving to America tonight. I’m sorry for keeping it from you guys.” My statement make all of them stunned. Changmin pinch his hand and Jaejoong shooked his head in disbelief. I know how they feel right now. I had the same reaction when my dad told me about it a few days ago.
“Wait, why are you telling us now? You’re going tonight and you tell us today? What a good friend I have.” Junsu release a long and heavy sigh. Yoochun can’t even say a single word because of shock.
“I’m sorry. I can’t told you guys before. I’m afraid I can’t leave you guys. I’m going there for a few years. Maybe until we’ve finish our high school or I’ll just continue stay there. It’s up to my parents.” My tears at the edge of my eyes now. My vision become blur because of it.
“It’s fine hyung. I understand you.” I pulled Changmin to my embrace. He can’t hold his tear anymore. He’s sobbing in my embrace. He’s the most close to me. I can’t help but to cry with him.
“Yunho, what time is your flight? We’ll sent you tonight.” Finally Jaejoong managed to control his tears. Yoochun’s still trying to calm Junsu who’s crying.
“I think it’s on 9pm. I’ll meet you guys there ok. Don’t tell anyone else especially Anli and Hajin.” All of them nodded in agree.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Yunho, you’re ready to go now? You have your ticket with you?” appa placed his hand on my shoulder and give me a smile. He has seetle everything for me at America. I’ll fly to America alone and meet with my uncle there.
I moved to my umma and hug her. I can hear she’s sobbing lightly. “Umma, don’t cry ok. We’ll meet again in a few months.” I tried to cheer her up.
“Yunho, don’t forget us here ok. We’ll miss you and take care when you’re there. We’re not there to help you again.” Yoochun grinned widely and give me a hug. I hug him back with sadness in my eyes.
I look at Changmin and he embrace me and sob loudly. “Yah Changmin. You’re like a baby now you know. Stop crying will ya. People are staring at us now.” I whispered at him with a low tone. He lift his face and smile at me.
“Now, that’s my Changmin. I don’t want you to be sad when I’m not here okay. If anyone bully you, just tell your hyungs okay.” Changmin, the maknae, always being bullied at school. I’m kinda worry about him.
As I moved to Junsu, I could see his eyes are all red. Not to mention his nose and face. I bet he’s been crying since we arrived here. “Yah Junsu, why are you crying you little dolphin?” I smiled at him and at the same time, biting my lip to hold tears. I thought he’s going to hit me for calling him dolphin like we always do before. But, he just sob loudly like Changmin. I hug him tightly.
“Yunho, I’m going to miss you after this.” He talked in a weird voice. Maybe because he’s crying. This guy really going to make me cry.
Afetr I broke our hug, I stare at Jaejoong. He looks more calm than the other. “Can’t wait to see you’re healthy again.” I smiled and hug him. “Jae, I need your help.” I whispered to him in a low voice. I open my bag and take a white letter written…
To Anliasstane
From Jung Yunho
From Jung Yunho
I gave him the envelope. “I want you to give this to Anli tomorrow. I’ve explain everything to her in here. Please, take care of her while I’m gone. I know I can trust you and the other.”
He just nod and keep the envelope. Finally, there’s an announcement for my flight departure. For the last time, I hug all of them once again and walk away from them. I turn back and wave at them. It’s so hard trying to smile when you’re really sad.
“Goodbye Seoul. Goodbye guys. Goodbye Anli. Till we meet again.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I woke up early that morning and immediately get ready to go to school. I’m so nervous to see Yunho for the first time after the confession.
“Anli, come and have your breakfast first.” Umma called me once I’m downstair. Appa already at the table, reading newspaper while eating his breakfast like always.
“No umma. I have promised Hajin to go early today. We have something to seetle.” I entered the kitchen and kiss my umma and appa in the cheeks. I grab a glass of milk and drink it to fill my stomach before I take lunch at school after this. After that, I excused myself and walk to school nervously.
When I arrive at the school gate, I meet with Hajin but she’s not alone. She’s with Jaejoong, Changmin, Junsu and Yoochun but Yunho is not with them today. It’s really weird. Yunho was always be with the 4 boys and they always came to school together. I approach and stared Junsu weirdly. He’s eyes looks funny, like he’s been crying from last night.
“Junsu, what has happened to your eyes? Did you cry because Changmin finished all your breakfast again?” I chuckled lightly but everyone was not affected by my joke. Now, I feel totally awkward with the situation now.
“Okay, what’s with the serious face now? Tell me..” I asked them and looked at Hajin’s sad face. I’m totally confuss and blur now. What had happened here actually??
“Anli, let’s go to your class first okay.” Jaejoong finally broke the silence and all of us walk to my class. Well, I’m still in the same class as Hajin and Yunho since the first year we’re in high school.
When we arrived at my class, Jaejoong give me an envelope. I stare at the envelope and to his face. I take it and surprise by the handwriting and the names on it…
To Anliasstane
From Jung Yunho
From Jung Yunho
“What is this Jae? Where’s Yunho? What’s with this letter?” I’m completely confussed. I look at them one by one but all they do are just being silent.
“Read it and you’ll know what have happened.” Somehow, I feel like something bad had happened. Jaejoong ask me to open and read it. Slowly, I open the letter with my heart beats wildly and begin to read it.
Anli,
When you’re reading this letter, I already left Seoul. I’m sorry for not telling you about this. I know I’ll end up hurting you but trust me, if I don’t do this, it will be harder for both of us.
First of all, I want to thank you for being my friend and always by my side when I’m in trouble or happy. You’re a good friend and I’m never going to forget you. But, without you realizing it, I always want you to be more than a friend to me. you don’t know how happy I was when you confessed to me yesterday. I’ve always been waiting for that moment.
But, I can’t accept your love. You’re too perfect to me and I don’t want you to hurt by being by my side. There’s something that I’ve been keeping from you. Actually, I can’t live more than 2 months. I have some kind of heart disease and I need a heart transplant. I just knew this last year. Jaejoong and the other have knew about it except for you and Hajin. I asked them to keep it from you and Hajin. So, don’t be mad at them ok. Because of it, my appa decided to send to the America. So, I’ve left last night and maybe already arrive there at this time. I’ll be staying there in a few years.
Anli,
All I want to say here is I love you. I’ve fall in love with you since the first time we met. Your eyes makes my heart beat so hard. Sometime I feel like I want to hold you in my arms, to be by your side, and to care you till the end. I try hard to control myself because if I don’t I will make you suffer more. I tried so many time to forget my feeling towards you but my love for you just grow deeper and deeper. Would you willing to wait for me? Will you keep me in your heart until I come back one day if I’m cure? Can you promise me that I’ll be the first and the last love for you?
Well, that’s up to you. I’m so sorry for leaving like this. I hope you can understand me after you read this letter. I hope we can meet again in the future to continue everything that we left behind now. I promise, I’ll search for you once I’m all better again and come back to Seoul. I will always you.
The one and only,
Jung Yunho
I stared at the letter. My hands are shaking and tears start running down my cheeks. All of them look at me with sympathy. But I don’t need that right now, I just want to see Yunho. Hajin embrace me and try to calm me down. I feel a part of me has gone. Like Anli has die from the moment she knows Yunho has left her.
“Anli, calm down. Don’t do this. You’re making us worry. I understand your feeling right now.” Hajin’s already sobbing with me. jaejoong and the other just watch both of us. I could tell they’re sad like us too.
“Anli, please say something.” Jaeejoong finally open his mouth. I ignored him and walk slowly out of the class. After taking a few steps, my vision become dark and blur. All I know after that, Hajin’s voice is shouting for my name and I can feel someone was holding me.
“Yunho…” that’s the last thing I said before my world become so dark. From that moment, I have promise to myself to wait for Yunho and never fall in love again.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
5 years later….
“Jaejoong.” I shouted his name once I’m sure it was him, standing outside a jewellery shop. We’ve been separate for almost 4 years. After finish high school, I made my way to Japan to continue my study. Since that day, I’ve left everyone without any news.
“Anli, are you Anli?” he stared at me in disbelief. I nod my head once and smile widely at him. I’m so happy to meet him again and I really miss him. He’s like a brother to me. he always take care of me when we’re in high school. Suddenly, a girl come to Jaejoong’s side and look at me with her eyes open widely. 0_0
“Hajin?” I looked at her and drop my jaw. She looks so difference. She looks more mature and totally gorgeous. Her eyes start to fill with tears as she approach me. She touch my face, I think she’s still shock.
“Anli, is this you? I miss you so much. How could you left me without sent any news after that?” she hugged me when she’s sure that I’m her Anli. Only god knows how much I miss her. Jaejoong looks at us with a smile.
“Hajin, I’m sorry ok. Let me treat you two lunch as my forgiveness. I have so many things to ask and tell you guys.” I grinned and winked at the same time at both of them. She looks at Jaejoong to ask for answer.
“Why not? We haven’t meet for years. Besides, I don’t have any plans now.” After that, we walk to a café nearby. It’s so crowded because it’s Sunday. We choose to sit near a window and make orders.
“So what are you two doing here together?” I looked at them and Hajin chuckled softly before takes Jaejoong’s hand. Of course, it makes me more puzzle.
“Actually, we were searching for rings for our engagement.” I dropped my jaw and shook my head a few times. I look at Hajin and she just nod a few times. So, that’s mean I’m not dreaming.
“How can you guys ended up be together?” at last, I managed to speak out but totally in a great shock. I never thought Hajin will ended up with Jaejoong. But people always say that love is blind.
“After finish high school, we’ve attend the same university and we’ve become so close than in the high school. I didn’t reliaze when I’ve fall in love with Hajin. We have been together almost 2 years and going to engage in 2 weeks.” Jaejoong explained everything while Hajin just look down. Maybe she’s shy or feel truly guilty to me.
“Yah, you’re busy asking about us but you haven’t told us about you.” Hajin lift her face and grin at me widely.
“What do you want to know? I just arrived here yesterday. Finally, I’ve finished my study and going to find a job here. Currently staying at my umma house. Well, what’s the most important thing here is about you two. What happened to the other?” I chuckled lightly at my own explanation.
“Junsu is helping his father with his family company. He’s still like before. You should see Changmin. He has change a lot but still the food monster like the old days. As for Yoochun, he stil with his bad temper but it can be control now. He has change so much too especially after you left without any news. Maybe he’s still can’t accept the fact that Yunho has left before that.” The last name make me stop smiling. I haven’t heard that name and never felt this heart beats so hard again after he’s gone. But, I still keep him deep inside my heart. I never forget anything about him. My face turn pale after heard that name and at that time, a waiteress come and put our orders on the table.
After she’s gone, Jaejoong continue, “Anli, are you alright? Your face looks pale.” That words make me remember him even more. He has asked me the same question at the first time we met and made me fall in love at once at him. Without realizing it, my tears run down my cheeks. I haven’t cry because of him for many years. Jaejoong and Hajin stare at me worriedly. They haven’t see me crying for a long time too.
“Hey Anli. What’s wrong?” Hajin got up and walk to my side. She embrace me like she used to calm me when I’m sad. I lean my head to her and cry. After awhile, Hajin seems to understand my tears and she looks at Jaejoong. I can see Jaejoong nod his head but what is that mean?
“Anli, calm down. I understand you now.” Afetr crying a few minutes, I can control my tears. I smile weakly at Hajin.
“Thank you Hajin. You always know how to comfort me. I’m sorry for getting emotional. I thought I was brave enough to face you guys especially him. But it seems like I’m still weak when it comes to him.” Hajin still by my side. I release a heavy and long sigh. Suddenly, Jaejoong’s phone ring. He excused himself and walk out of the café. I could see he’s speaking on the phone for a few minutes and ended the call before dialed a new number.
“Hajin, Anli, could you wait here for a few minutes? I need to meet my friend for a while and I’ll come back ok.” I didn’t realize when did Jaejoong come back to our table again. He left again and leave us.
“Anli, what will you do if you meet with Yunho?” her question made me jerk a little. I try to control my expression by throwing my view outside of the café. My eyes caught a couple of lover holding hand in hand, walking happily. A smile cracks and I turn my face to Hajin. She frown and stare at me with blur.
“You know Hajin, I used to dream about us. Walking hand in hand in a park. Then, he embrace me and he’ll say 3 words that I’m really dying to hear from his mouth. But I know, it will never happen. It’s been 5 years and maybe ha has forget me. It’s still hurt although I have forgive him long time ago. I never fall in love with someone else again after I made a promised to my heart.” My vision become blur. It’s really hurt but no one know about it. no one understand my heart except for Hajin. Years without her is like a hell.
“I’m sorry Anli.” A voice, the voice I’ve been waiting all this years, came from my back. I never forget that voice but it can’t be him. I turn to my back and see, the most person that I want to meet all these years, standing besides Jaejoong, Changmin, Junsu and Yoochun. I feel like my heart going to jump off from my chest now. He’s still the same like before but now he’s more handsome and looks more mature.
“Anli, I didn’t know you’re suffering that much. I didn’t think leaving you will make you hurt even more.” He took a few steps closer to me. I never thought our meeting is going to be so soon.
I take my bag and look at Hajin, “I need to go now.” I ran out of the café. I can hear voices calling my name. I can’t turn around. I’m not brave enough to face all this things. I spent the entire day crying in my room.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The next morning, all of them come to my house. My mom left us alone and she went out to shop. “Yunho, Anli, we’re going out for a while. Changmin hasn’t take his breakfast yet.” Yoochun, represent Changmin and the others excused themselves and leave us all alone. 3 minutes past with silence. From 3 minutes, it become 5 minutes.
“How are you?” finally he broke the silence. He take a look at my face with love fill in his eyes.
“I’m fine.” It feels so awkward to be alone with him after all this time. He makes a wistful sigh that makes me stare at him. For a minute, our eyes meet. There’s no words coming from our mouth, our eyes communicate silencely.
“I’m sorry Anli.”
“Please stop apologizing for once.” I gave him a chilling look and get up at once. I take a few steps towards the stairs and he grab my hand softly.
“I still love you. That’s why I come back. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t think I can survive from my illness.” His words make my heart stop beating for a while. I stay silent, can’t choose words to speak. Yunho held my shoulders and turn me to face him. I look down and the he lift my chin. My eyes turn all red trying to hold tears..
“You can cry if you want to. Let me share the sadness with you.” He pulled me into his embrace. I feel so safe and calm in his arms. I sob and bury my face into his chest.
“I… I…” he put his finger at my lip to stop me from talking. He smile, the heartbreaking smile that I’ve been missing for so long. He takes us to the sofa again. He still hold me in his arms.
“Don’t talk. I know everything. I heard everything you said to Hajin at the café and Jaejoong has told me everything.” He cared my hair and I like the feeling. I can feel his love. I hope this moment will never end. I rest my head on his shoulder.
“Thank you Anli. For willing to wait for me although you still didn’t know if I have chance to live. I love you.” I chuckled lightly.
“Thank you Yunho, for loving me. I love you too.” I whispered to him but I’m sure he heard it clearly as he tighten his embrace. I’m so happy. Our story has just begin. There’s going to be many problems in the future. But I believe in our love and him. So, the end of my story although I want to tell you a lot of things here..
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